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Having not flown for almost three years, family Froggee bravely decided to take the plunge. Driven by rabid loyalty to British Airways and simple ease, we chose to go to Jersey which has weekly direct flights from Edinburgh where we live. I paid 31,500 Avios and £137.58, utilising an Amex 241 voucher that was due to expire in September. The taxes were a weird amount as the kids came in at slightly less than the £35 reward flight saver price. With the flight to Jersey departing at 15:45 and landing at 17:15, my expectation was we would be less than five hours door to door. Highly civilised.
On the day of departure, I checked before we left our house and the flight was delayed by a bit over two hours. We decided best just to go as you never know what can happen with timings. Arriving at Edinburgh airport we joined the BA check-in queue (okay, okay we went to the front of the gold priority line) to be told the flight had been cancelled. Goodo.
We then had to go and stand in a proper queue at BA’s outsourced ground handling agents. I called the BA gold line who could not help me – “speak to ground agent”. In two hours, BA’s outsourced ground handling agent served exactly zero customers. We were about 4th in line out of a plane load. I asked the fellow at the front who said the plane was there but they had no crew so they were trying to find a way to get us to Heathrow. Hmmmm.
After about two hours, a fellow from Edinburgh Airport spoke to the ground handling agents and then announced to the entire queue that there were no flights to Heathrow (which I knew – all booked solid) so they were trying to arrange a bus to drive us down to Heathrow. Given the timing, this would probably be an “overnight bus”. Hah! A bus. To Heathrow. From Edinburgh Airport. Overnight. With two kids. Zero chance. Nada. Rien. No amount of money.
At this point, I dropped £1,256.86 on four tickets from Glasgow to Jersey via Southampton the following day at sociable times. It was by far the best option out of a seriously bad bunch. We left Edinburgh Airport. My car had been taken from me at valet parking and I needed it at Edinburgh for the return flight anyway so we got a taxi home. £30. It was a black cab so I had to sit facing backwards which tends to make me feel sick. Bonus.
We got home 3.5 hours after leaving so it was a fun afternoon out.
We had to repack our carryon luggage that evening as we were now flying with LoganAir and Blue Islands Airways. LoganAir allows a carryon size of 40cm x 35cm x 18cm which to you and me is a small, lightly packed rucksack. Grrrrr. I secured the services of a normal car type taxi to take us through to Glasgow Airport on Sunday. £140. I was looking for pickup at 10am to give us plenty of time but the firm suggested 9:30 because they needed to fit it into their schedule. Fair enough. I checked in for our flights. I paid £23.96 for fast track security at Glasgow Airport having read too much of airport chaos recently and I also had a low inclination to spend further time queuing after the joy of the BA ground handling agent experience.
Saturday night I slept poorly. It didn’t help that Freddo now likes to scream blue murder at night. At midnight I went into his room to tell him to stop screaming. He then followed me out into the hall, screamed at me for a bit longer, and then went back to bed. Weird. He had no memories of this the following day. Spooky. It’s like a whole new level of sleep walking. At 4:30am I remembered I’d forgotten to cancel that day’s Tesco groceries delivery that I booked when I thought Freddo had Covid. Balls.
Sunday morning I went out early to get a pint of milk which was ironic given that we had 4 litres of the stuff arriving in a couple of hours time. 75 pence. At 9am Kermit took a dump. Excellent timing as he creates stink clouds that a skunk would be embarrassed of and it will be a day of confined spaces. Taxi arrived at 9:15. Off we went. Boys in good form at least. At 9:30 Tesco called saying that they were at my doorstep. “I’m very sorry – I’m a d1ck”. They take it away. £43.88. The 88p suffix not lucky.
It was a smooth drive through to Glasgow so we are there at 10:30. I tip the driver £10 and he is delighted. LoganAir won’t let us check in for the flight until midday. Grrrrr. We go to Starbucks. We actually get a table away from everyone. Score. I’m afraid I don’t know what we spent at Starbucks as Mrs Froggee took the boys to the counter first and, to her, money is an abstract concept. But I spent £2.65 on a short Americano. And Kermit pleaded, and PLEADED to be allowed to buy stroopwafels “to take on the plane and share with Freddo”. I explained that they cost 5x as much as in the supermarket but he was insistent and said he would give me the money. £3.70 for I believe 180 grams. I got them. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I get an email from Tesco apologising about the problem with my recent order refunding me the £43.88. Wow – 88p very lucky. I like Tesco.
At Starbucks, Freddo put his hand under his metal seat and managed to find an unfinished bit of metal and punctured his finger with it. I now know why Freddo was night-screaming as he was obviously practicing for the main event of the day being I’ve-hurt-my-finger screaming. Mrs Froggee unpacks a suitcase to find a plaster. Freddo stops screaming but still looks a bit sad.
Midday comes and after ensuring Kermit has peed, we check in for our flight. Weirdly it only took two minutes with no queue. Yay. We proceed through security which was moving smoothly but was pretty busy. I was pleased with my investment for priority security other than for the fact that we weren’t actually asked to evidence we had paid and just walked through unquestioned.
I bought a 750ml bottle of water from WH Smith to fill up the boys’ water bottles. £2.29. For water. W-A-T-E-R. We secured seats at a Brewdog restaurant where I ordered two cheese and ham toasties, fish and chips, and calamari as well as a lime soda for me and a pint of (free) water for Mrs Froggee. £42.10. Not too bad. Kermit claims that the cheese and ham toastie is “too cheesy” and proceeds to scrape off all the cheese. He leaves the crust and quite a bit of the bread because he is full but then proceeds to eat a man size portion of fries.
We proceed to the gate. Kermit pees. Boarding is smooth and the flight is on time. The flight attendant gives the boys caramel wafers I suspect she bought with her own money because she feels bad LoganAir have removed all catering. Very kind. After a while, Freddo repeatedly falls asleep, his head keeps bobbing about like Mr Potato Head, waking up each time it bobs, so I end up having to hold his head upright. This is uncomfortable for me but works for him. The plane starts to descend and Freddo wakes up because of the pressure in his ears and gets in some practice at his this-plane-is-going-to-crash-and-we’re-all-going-to-die screaming. I magic up some Haribos from my LoganAir approved-size rucksack and he stops his plane-screaming. “Daddy can I have the rest of the Haribos if my ears hurt on the next aeroplane?” Son, you can have my left kidney, and my right kidney and anything you find in betwixt them if you just promise not to scream.
We land at Southampton which is not a major airport. To connect you have to go through arrivals and then through departures and clear security again. We do this and arriving at security Mrs Froggee realises that we haven’t emptied the boys’ water bottles. Darn. The security dragon says “you’ll have to drink it”. I think “but it cost me £2.29”. The boys did what needed to be done. I was very pleased. as I did not want to chug down their blowback.
We get to departures to find that the flight is delayed by 40 minutes. We take a strategic decision to feed the boys early. It turns out Southampton has a priority pass lounge and we have priority passes courtesy of Amex Platinum. Result. Except neither of us have our cards. We both download the app, try and retrieve our login details and SWEET, we’re good to go. On arrival at the priority pass lounge we are informed it closed an hour earlier. Of course.
I order two cups of tea, two sausage butties, a bacon butty and a margarita pizza at a restaurant adjacent to the closed priority pass lounge. £37.80. Cups of water were free for the boys. 4:30pm “dinner”. Kermit looks as if I’d kept his morning poo and put it inside a bread roll when presented with his sausage butty and grudgingly eats one and a half sausages and a little bit of the butty. I pay £1.45 at the duty free concession for 750ml of water to refill the boys’ water bottles and we ensure Kermit has a pee before boarding our flight. Our 35 minute flight. THREE FIVE. This time I sit with Kermit and Mrs Froggee sits with Freddo. Freddo was in better form after his restorative nap and cathartic screaming on the prior flight. After 20 or so minutes Kermit needs to pee. Seriously? Oh yes. He makes it just before the fasten seat belt sign comes on for landing. Phew.
The flight lands and we deplane. Freddo gets told off for zigzagging around the cones which are placed to stop people going too close to the engines. He isn’t bothered. At Jersey Airport they have a machine where you can refill your water bottles for free. Of course. We are met by an incredibly lovely Scottish fellow who takes us to our residence in a Bentley. Welcome to Jersey. Kermit says the car is just like the car that took us to Glasgow Airport. Yes Kermit in that a Skoda Octavia also has four wheels and a boot.
I tip incredibly lovely Scottish fellow £10. He tries to give it back to me. I’m not sure if this is because he was expecting £50 or felt it was too kind. I insist but joke I wouldn’t have bothered getting English notes if I’d known we’d be met by a Scotsman. He throws the note on the ground and stamps on it. I don’t know whether Jane Austin or Queen Elizabeth took the hit. He does pick it up and pocket it once the joviality is done. Given petrol prices and the Bentley’s six litre engine, I calculate the tip is roughly enough to propel the Bentley for 15 miles. I felt better as we were but two miles drive from the airport and Jersey is only nine miles across.
At last we are here. 25 hours late. The boys are hyper. We let them go mental for a bit and then put them to bed. Freddo is out like a light. The floorboards are squeaky and we can hear Kermit taking advantage of his en-suite facilities while we decompress. My heart rate plummets to the high 40s having been elevated all day.
The hotel has put UHT milk in our fridge to greet us which results in a similar response from Mrs Froggee to that from Kermit when he was presented with the sausage butty. There were also jars containing 100 sachets of instant coffee (92 normal and eight decaf, all Nescafé); 82 teabags (77 individually wrapped PG Tips and five loose of provenance unknown); and sugar sachets. We didn’t count the sugar as we don’t take sugar. I feel this is selfish of me as many people do take sugar but then maybe I’m doing them a favour. The kettle is a Breville Lustra currently on sale at Argos for £31.99.
Both boys slept and weirdly there was no screaming from Freddo. I was nervous he might have absconded in the night but at 6:51am he appeared to tell me it was 5:51am so could he get up? He is lucky it wasn’t 5:51am.
The next morning I walked to Luca’s Farm Shop to get some food in. Food is important when you have kids. And milk. Fresh milk. Fresh milk is very important if you wish to stay married to Mrs Froggee. The website confirmed it opens at 8:30am. I set out to walk there and immediately a dog tried to attack me. Luckily it was on a lead. Welcome to Jersey. The owner seemed surprised at the level of aggression from her beloved pooch and apologised. After recovering my composure I followed behind until it stopped to do a poo. Welcome to Jersey once more. I arrive at Luca’s Farm Shop to be met by a special note informing me that today only it would not open until 1pm because of staff shortages. Balls. I whip out my smartphone and identify a Morrisons Local five minutes away. I visit said Morrisons Local and spend £68.70 on some essentials taking great care to buy as much heavy stuff as possible. I wanted to weigh down the cartons of fresh milk in case they blew away. I walked to Morrisons at a relatively brisk pace and was aware it was downhill. It took 15 minutes and my heart rate averaged 101 bpm with a drop down to 80bpm when I stopped and checked my phone. Walking back with two large bags and a rucksack stuffed full, the hill was of Himalayan proportions. It took me 17 minutes, my heart rate averaged 139bpm and peaked at 169bpm. I was fully expecting to meet the same dog I encountered earlier, now off lead. Having done its business it would be lighter and faster whereas I was getting close to maximum effort. Escape would be unlikely. I considered fishing the steak I’d bought out of my rucksack as a peace offering just in case but thought that would be overkill. Also it cost £4.68 and I was darned well going to stir fry it with peppers, baby corn and broccoli for dinner. Luckily there was no dog.
Instead as I approached our residence, it started pi$$ing down. This makes sense as the weather forecast for the morning had been sunny and warm. Welcome to Jersey.
Hugs
Froggee (current heart rate 52bpm)
Postscript: there has been no further mention of the stroopwafels by Kermit. They remain unopened.
Great trip report Froggee, self deprecating and funny. Hope you and your family have a great trip.
I had a lodger once who used to sleep walk, I wasn’t amused when I caught him peeing in my shoes thinking it was the toilet! Let’s hope Froggee junior grows out of the sleepwalking habit.Thank you – this was very entertaining 🙂
Hi Froggee, really enjoyed your trip report. Your boys sound lovely. Hide the stroopwaffels,with a bit of luck they’ve forgotten and you can use them as an incentive for specific good behaviour you need later.
Boringly, just to remind you to claim all those outrageous food costs (yes,I agree you got off lightly given level of UK airport rip-off pricing) under duty of care UK261 for your delayed journey as well as your compo *for each seat*. And I know you’ll be claiming the taxi transport to GLA which you’re also entitled to plus the £30 taxi home on the day your flight was cancelled.
- This reply was modified 55 years, 4 months ago by .
Love it! These things all go to make beautiful memories for when they don’t want to be seen with you any more! I am totally with Mrs Froggee on the Long Life issue, it is to milk what Hershey’s is to chocolate 😣
I am torn between huge relief that my teenager is past that stage and probably won’t speak to us for the entire journey to the Caribbean tomorrow and terror that my separate MAN-LHR booking now has a message on it from BA saying they cannot ascertain what travel documents I need because MAN and LHR are in the same region. Last time we flew this route they cancelled our 7 am connection at 4 am and only got us to LHR (by taxi, £300), because of the amount of pleading and referring to EU261 I did which I think just made them do anything to get rid of us!
Great report and very enjoyable reading 😊
The post made me smile a few times, so thank you. Key moment your travel experience would transform is when you realise they are glued to their iPads, and actually not that long to go.
iPads were the only way the two hours queuing at EDI were survivable.
I attempted to post this in today’s chat thread in reply to @JDB but my posts are going missing again. Maybe it will work here:
The punchline to the Jersey trip was that a couple of days on from where I left you, I came down with Covid. Luckily it was decidedly mild compared to some. I feel a bit bad as I assumed it was hay fever for the first couple of days and was out and about. It was only when I was left out of breath by picking up Freddo above my head and pretending to throw him into the monkey enclosure at the zoo that I realised something was amiss. And after a positive test I did not go near another restaurant, tearoom, or old person for ten days at which point it was time to leave Jersey. The final day we had lunch at The Atlantic (the one what Rob went to with his kids) and then went to a garden centre cafe so that was nice.
Mrs Froggee was stoic so we still went to the beach in the car etc. And she was still happy for me to cook bless her. And it either says something about the state of her immune system or the state of our marriage but she did not succumb. Kermit did (I think, as I didn’t bother testing him) but that involved being listless for several hours; then complaining of the worst headache ever and his eyes hurting; and excusing himself from dinner and going to bed at 6pm in tears. I was slightly worried at this point but not a squeak until 4am when he snuck up on me in the middle of the night. “Daddy I’m hungry”. This was the most happy I have ever been to have been woken at that hour. That was Kermit done with Covid thankfully.
Kids in the main seem indestructible. Despite the mildness of mine I was left a bit out of breath for a few weeks but I seem back to normal now. Apple Watch says VO2Max dropped two points and has only let me have half a point back so far. I digress. The flight back was only half an hour late which felt like winning the lottery. BA even transported our suitcases for us and they arrived quickly at the carousel much to the chagrin of a bunch of Americans who, judging by the length of their beards, had been waiting for their luggage since before Covid was a thing. My car was waiting for me in the valet pickup area and as far as I could tell it had not been joyridden. I based this upon the fact that it is a Volvo rather than any actual analysis of the state of the car.
On the way home I picked up a pint of milk which in less than two weeks had gone up 5p to 80p.
The end.
Genius. I’m glad that you got over Covid but mainly sad that it will have reduced the number of instalments. Please write a report of future trips!
So much fun to read !
@Froggee fantastic report and glad you are better. It can be no coincidence that the post was about Jersey as your writing really reminds me of Gerald Durrell whose stories I enjoyed from a young age; you have a bright literary career ahead of you.
More please.
A good read just before the weekend, thanks!
Cracking read! Are you the new eightblack?
How did I miss this hilarious thread from a month ago? I love the fact that Lady London’s reply to you on 28 June with UK261 advice was apparently amended 52 years, 7 months ago 🙂 Thanks too for the postscript @Froggee. The fact you caught covid sounds like some higher authority was punishing you for managing to circumvent the initial flight cancellation. I love the writing style and the humour without which I suspect you’d be in dire trouble. Take care with those heart rate measurements though, sounds like you are a candidate for statins and higher travel insurance premiums.
Ha statins !
My Diabetic nurse has been trying to put me on those because im over 60 & Type 1 … disregarding the fact that my choloresterol levels are consistently under 4…
Asked about it on a diabetic forum, and the general comment was ” are they getting a kickback ” of course me being me i relayed that back to said diabetic nurse and she was very offended 😉
Ha statins !
My Diabetic nurse has been trying to put me on those because im over 60 & Type 1 … disregarding the fact that my choloresterol levels are consistently under 4…
Asked about it on a diabetic forum, and the general comment was ” are they getting a kickback ” of course me being me i relayed that back to said diabetic nurse and she was very offended 😉
I’m not at all surprised your diabetic nurse was very offended as not only does it challenge her professionalism, but it would also be illegal for her to receive any form of kickback in this country. As a practical matter, if you were prescribed statins, on the NHS it will by default be for a generic/bio equivalent, so the pharmacist could dispense a variety of different brands and there is simply no way of tracking that back to you or the prescriber to pay any kickback. It’s quite sad that the forum you use is more interested in some absurd conspiracy theory rather than the practical support which is presumably what you are seeking.
- This reply was modified 55 years, 4 months ago by .
Ha statins !
My Diabetic nurse has been trying to put me on those because im over 60 & Type 1 … disregarding the fact that my choloresterol levels are consistently under 4…
Asked about it on a diabetic forum, and the general comment was ” are they getting a kickback ” of course me being me i relayed that back to said diabetic nurse and she was very offended 😉
If you’re diabetic I thought the aim was cholesterol under 3. Fluctuating/higher glucose levels leads to rougher blood vessels which leads to easier collection of lipids which leads to narrowing of vessels and a higher risk of emboli breaking off and causing heart attacks, cerebral vascular accidents etc.
Sounds to me like your diabetic nurse is following protocol to help you live a longer, healthier life.
Ahem sorry to destroy anyone’s illusions but I had that sort of thing as good as confirmed to me. There are a number of programs medical staff such as GP’s can sign up for (and_or have put on them). These do indeed give incentives and/or targets for finding patients with a targeted condition. I am not aware if there is also punishment for not meeting targets for getting x number of patients tested, diagnosed or medicated for things on the target list but there’s certainly incentives.
When I mentioned some illogical behaviour I’d observed in my own GP’s practice to a nurse in a place that executes testing, there was a look and a quiet comment along the lines of “well, all I’ll say is we are always rushed off our feet in January because that’s when GP’s refer many more patients [and a hint of :because that’s when the annual targets refresh for the year just started].
These might be government or Health Service targets but guess who’s behind that sponsoring these programs? Yup big pharma. Luckily we’re not in America. And fortunately the truth about statins actually being needed by a very small proportion of the people they’ve been prescribed for, is also slowly coming out. They’re wonderful apparently if ypu do need them. But a very negative thing for your health if you didn’t need them and got prescribed them.
Apologies if i offended anyone.
In my defence, i have had issues with my local medical centre, causing me to not totally trust them.
Main one being the results of an important test being mis-communicated back to me, that led to being on the wrong treatment for over a year. I wont go into details on that one as i have already taken froggee’s excellent thread off track ( apologies again )
* thanks for your intervention LL *
captaindave I’d get a second opinion and find a really specialist specialist I can trust if you’re facing that kind of issue. Meanwhile I always listen very carefully to anything a nurse says especially if she (and it’s usually a she) is of long experience in a very specialised area..
Not that I’ll necessarily follow it as they too have to observe protocols – and I’ve been harmed by such protocols and had the nurses apologise that they had been obliged to follow the protocols that caused me harm. Medics on here will come running now but I have much more confidence in experienced nurses than in many doctors.
So I would look further and find someone you trust.
Hi LL
I was initially diagnosed as T2 back in 2016, and after the initial emergency insulin, i settled into the usual routine of Metformin and other tablets . However by 2018 ish one of my former diabetic nurses was convinced i was a T1 ( not carrying any excess weight etc ) and raised this several times with more senior colleagues but was pushed back – eventually i did get tested and was told i was T2 and keep taking the tablets etc.
Fast forward to end 2019 and i was on max tablets but struggled to control my levels, purely by luck i had an appointment with a specialist from Plymouth hospital ( at my local medical centre ) It was 30 mins past appointment time when i was called in as she had obviously gone through my entire notes – first thing she said to me was that i was T1 !!! to say i was shocked is an understatement, my wife who was present was very angry, and the “local” DN looked rather sheepish.I was on insulin the very next day, and have been since. I made an official complaint which they investigated, with the usual “lessons to be learned ” ” going forward ” politico speak… i also used my free legal service via union to raise a case, but they couldnt prove the mis-diagnosis had caused me any harm.
I recently was supplied with Libre monitor after trying to get one for 6 years, which has been a game-changer. I dont blame local centre for that as i know it is a cost issue.
Addendum – the T1/T2 test came back with result that i was T1, and this had been correctly added to my notes, but someone/somewhere misread it and hence gave me incorrect info.
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